Counterfeit Honey? As Good as Gold?

14 January 2015

             Counterfeit Honey?

            But how?

            You can go to any supermarket and see rows of bottles of golden-clear honey.  The labels say “honey.”  So, it must be honey?  Right?  When you look at naturally sweet golden honey, it’s hard not to be reminded of real gold.  Somehow, that golden look puts counterfeiting far out of mind.  After all, one of the great things about real gold is that it isn’t made out of paper.  You can’t counterfeit “the real thing.”

            Oh, yes, you can.

GOOD AS GOLD?

            As I write, gold is selling for a bit over $1,200.00 an ounce.  So, when Ibrahim Fadl found out there were fake gold bars on the market, he was worried.  Finally, in the early fall of 2012, he drilled into a few of his own gold bars and found something . . . that wasn’t gold.  It was tungsten.  Problem?   You bet.  Instead of selling for $1,200.00 an ounce, tungsten sells for about $1.00 an ounce. 

Gold Shell with Tungsten Core

            But that’s gold.  Gold is really valuable.  Why would someone counterfeit honey?  What’s to gain?

            Let’s go back to the days of Prohibition in the United States.  For over decade, the manufacture and sale of alcoholic beverages was illegal.  So, everyone had to stop drinking?  Right?

            Hardly.  Not only did a gigantic black market in liquor create organized crime empires but, according to the best guesses, a much larger percentage of Americans were alcoholics at the end of Prohibition, than before it began.  So, for a few years, the market for illegal booze was a big, big black market.

            But honey isn’t illegal?  Is it?

A BLACK MARKET FOR HONEY

            Some of it is.  The United States has quality standards.  Honey is divided into grades.  But some honey imported from other countries doesn’t even meet minimum U.S. standards.  Certain pesticides and antibiotics as well as other impurities can be found in foreign products.  Some of these impurities are banned in the U.S.  So, some chemicals and drugs found in foreign honey could never be found in honey produced here.  And some foreign honey has too much of some impurities to considered safe by the FDA.    

            The problem is solved by banning the import of honey processed in countries with unacceptably low safety and purity standards.  When you make a particular type of product illegal, a black market is always possible.

            If you think the U.S. sucks up a lot of international oil, to use in our automobiles, you may be surprised to find out that our honey hunger is going the same way.  Americans consume about 400 million pounds of honey a year.  But U.S. bees produce less than half of that – about 143 million pounds.  The rest has to be imported.

            But honey?  Americans don’t go to their neighborhood bootlegger to buy illegal honey.  And if they did, why would they buy brands, types, and grades of honey declared unsafe by the F.D.A.

            American consumers wouldn’t.  And, during prohibition, most Americans wouldn’t buy or consume poorly made liquor, but they did.  So, how did the bootleggers sell their booze?  The same way gold counterfeiters manage to sell their almost worthless tungsten filled bars.  Mislabeling

A LABEL CAN BE MAGIC

            Most bootleg liquor was made in small illegal distilleries.  “Bathtub Gin” got its name because it was distilled in someone’s bathtub.  But few would buy bathtub gin – at least, if they knew it was bathtub gin.  But . . . a label can be magic.   And, the production of counterfeit labels went hand in hand with the sale of illegal liquor during Prohibition.

 Gin? -- Fresh from the Bathtub?

            But how does this work with honey?  Well, some of the “counterfeit” honey is processed and sold completely in the U.S.  This honey is “counterfeit” because it’s labeled and sold as a higher grade of honey than it is.  These “grades” are legally defined by the F.D.A.  It’s a crime to attempt to sell honey of one grade as honey of another grade. 

            But why would a processor risk prosecution for intentional mislabeling?  For the money.  Most people buy a lot of their honey in plastic-bear squeeze bottles, but the same amount of premium honey can go for as much as $50.00 a bottle.

 The Plastic Bear - The Minimal Solution

FOREIGN HONEY?

            During prohibition, there was no domestic manufacture of booze, so liquor bottle labels were all made to look as if the liquor was legally manufactured in another country.  It’s hard to pass off a fake, unless you have a lot of the real thing around keep things confusing.  And, during Prohibition, there was a lot of liquor that did come from foreign countries.

            You couldn’t import liquor into United States territory.   But “the United States” ended three miles out to sea -- at what was called our “territorial limit.”  Scotch whiskey distillers exported to a point in the ocean that was three and one half miles off the coast of (most famously) Atlantic City, New Jersey. 

            What does this have to do with honey?  Well, because of processing standards set by the F.D.A., some nations are barred from exporting any honey into the United States.  But when the whiskey distillers of Scotland couldn’t actually deliver their product to U.S. “territory,” they found a way to deliver it somewhere else.  And, it works the same way with honey.

TRANSSHIPPING

            Only, now, things are a bit more complicated.  The nation trying to “dump” the soon-to-be contraband honey (Nation A) looks for a country that will legally accept its honey imports (Nation B).  The selected country, Nation B, must also be able to legally export its own processed honey into the United States.  

            Then, . . .

            A two step process, called “transshipping,” begins.   First, Nation A legally exports its honey to the Nation B.  Second, the honey is illegally mislabeled as honey manufactured in Nation B (honey laundering).  Finally, the honey, falsely labeled as a product of Nation B, is (apparently) legally exported into the U.S.  

“CUTTING” THE HONEY

            During Prohibition, things were a bit simpler.  Eager organized crime wholesalers, called “rum runners,” motor-boated out to the Scottish vessels, floating just beyond the U.S. territorial limit,  to pick up the liquor.  The U.S. Coast Guard was patrolling.  So, the “runners,” often, had to “run” or move quickly. 

            But the game was the same.  When they got those pristine bottles of Scottish Whiskey into the U.S., each bottle was carefully unsealed and “cut” by adding bathtub gin to the fine Scottish blends.  Little prohibition liquor was really the foreign manufactured product shown on the labels.

            And, it works the same way with honey.  While many manufacturers try to pass inferior grades of honey off as premium, others take a certain grade of honey and add sugar, cornstarch and sweetening oils to “cut” the honey.  Doing this can turn 10 jars of high grade honey into 15 jars. 

            Problem? 

            Blending honey with other products is subject to strict regulation.  The F.D.A. requires that any so-called “blending” of honey with other diluting products must be disclosed on the label. 

            So, what to do?  Most of us are relative babes in this big bad forest full of honey-laundering wolves.  What chance do we have? 

POLLEN – A SERIAL NUMBER?

            Well, the counterfeit gold bar problem hasn’t been so easy to solve.  There, too, the trick is labeling.  Gold bars are manufactured with serial numbers to assure their authenticity.  But the gold counterfeiters are a step ahead.  They hollow out a registered and numbered, real gold bar and insert a tungsten core. 

            So, the gold bar is “cut” with tungsten.  The original “label,” the outer shell and serial number, are left intact.  Why tungsten?  It weighs about the same as gold.   So, the weight-scale doesn’t always help when you are looking for counterfeit bars.  

            With gold, the best advice, so far, is to buy only from reputable dealers.  This sounds good, but may be more of a cliché than practical advice.  The problem is that Fadl, the poor guy who found out his gold bars were fake, and many others bought their gold from reputable gold merchants – who were fooled by the false labeling as well.

            Honey isn’t packaged with serial numbers.  Even if it were, serial numbers can be faked.  It would be great if you could see into a gold bar to check for tungsten.  But you can’t.  You can see into most jars of honey.  The trick is figure out what you’re seeing.  But what can you really see?

ULTRA-FILTERING

            Vaughn Bryant, an anthropology professor at Texas A & M, found there was little to test or see in most jars of honey.  Why?  Because the F.D.A. doesn’t require honey to be sold with its original pollen.  Ultra-filtering is a process that gives honey that golden clear-glass look – the look that’s so appealing to consumers.  If the honey contained a bit more pollen, it might not look as clear.

            What’s the big deal with the pollen?  Well, pollen is nutritious, but it also can tell us some things about the honey inside the jar.  Certain grades of honey would be easy to spot because of their pollen content.  And, just a little pollen can tell us where the honey in the jar comes from. 

            How? 

            The pollen can be matched with the plants that produced it.  The plants of Canada, Texas, India and China are different.  And the differences are easy to see.  And the combination of plants tell us where the honey came from.

            Congress is currently considering legislation requiring most grades of honey to retain some pollen – enough to show where it came from.  Of course, golden clear honey will always be with us because it looks good and ultra-filtration is required in the preparation of some types of kosher honey.

About the Author

 

Bees – Honey-Makers, Pollinators, and . . . Artists?

8 January 2015

            Our honeybees already have a lot on their plate.  They make honey.  During pollination season, they’re trucked all over the place to pollinate cash crops.  With their sensitive sense of smell, they’re being used to diagnose diseases, sniff out contraband and even detect the smell of explosives. 

            You’d think they’d get a season off -- just to rest.  But, oh no!  Not content with overworking our bees in a dozen or more professions, honeybees are, now. being employed as creative artists.  I suppose, human artists are all out of ideas. What to do?  Why let’s make the bees do all the creative work and, then, (you can be sure), some “human being” will get the credit.   

            The latest example of the harnessing of our honeybees’ creative talent as well as the actual use of their creative product has already appeared in “commercial” art.   Dewar’s White Label Blended Scotch employed 80,000 honeybees to create a honeycomb sculpture of their new “Highlander Honey” and “Drinking Man” bottles. 

            The bees were basically locked in their studio with many, many flowers and only two places to make hives: two plastic shells.  The plastic shells were enlarged duplicates of the shape of the “Highlander Honey” and “Drinking Man” bottles.  The bees were then forced . . .  to create. 

            Working tirelessly, the bees produced beeswax, the insect’s chief building material and, also, propolis, the bee version of concrete.  Collaborating to develop their overall concept, the bees continued to build an absolutely unique pattern of honeycombs and brood combs to express the colony’s collective vision and worldview.

            The final result?

            This museum-quality art also, advertises Dewar’s products.  “Highlander Honey,” is a whiskey with added honey.  This quite popular combination is a recent development in whiskey blends.  So, Dewar’s release of a honey-flavored whiskey isn’t unusual in the worldwide industry. 

            But a flavored whiskey from Scotland is more than remarkable.  “Highlander Honey” was released under the watchful, if not suspicious, eye of the Scotch Whiskey Association.  Note that “whiskey’ doesn’t appear in the name of the product, "Highlander Honey."

.

            Then, there's Dewar’s “Drinking Man.”  "Drinking Man" is both a Dewar's product and an ad campaign to bring their whiskeys to a wider range of customers.  In both cases, the creative work of our buzzing commercial artists and “ad women” of the insect world may supercharge Dewar’s advertising campaigns. 

            But do you hear anything about the bees who, not only developed the concept and design of each project but, then, did all the work to produce the sculptures themselves?

            No.

            What did the people do?   Well, all I see in the pictures are people watching while 80,000 honeybees work their yellow stripes off doing everything.  Of course, in the weeks to come you'll surely hear that the human artists provided the over-sized bottles.

            Yeah, sure.  Let’s run through this. 

            The bottle and shape already existed.  So, the shape of the “Highlander Honey” and “Drinking Man” bottle had already been “created.” 

            But the human artists enlarged it?  No, they scanned it and used a 3-D-printer to generate the over-sized bottle/plastic shell. 

            But the human artists put a honeycomb pattern in the bottle to give the bees a starting point?  No, they cut and pasted a honeycomb pattern inside the virtual bottle before they printed it.

            Then, after "all that work," cutting and pasting stuff that already existed, they printed a 3-D bottle.  Finally, they watched the bees design and build . . . everything.  

            But you know the drill.  In the coming months, we'll hear that the bees had nothing to do with it.  The humans did all the “creative” work.  That “story” might have worked if the picture below hadn't been leaked to the press!

No Bees 'Round Here?

            (Actually, the photo above wasn’t exactly leaked.  It was part of the photo package Dewar’s released with the story showing how the sculpture was made.)

            Anyway, I don’t see the name of a single bee, queen or worker, anywhere in any story about this project.  So, I’ll ask.  How many of these bees, queens or workers, had an agent to negotiate for them?  How many bees had lawyers to negotiate to protect their creative product?  I bet every single bee went unrepresented!.  All the human beings involved in this project should be ashamed of themselves.

            But let’s not forget the beekeeper.  If he or she was involved in this shameful tale, it will only be poetic justice when these keepers find that their bees are beginning to get “artsy.”  You know what I mean.  If you keep renting your bees out to do creative work in the arts, your bees will begin . . . . to change. 

            Suddenly, you’ll notice a queen bee wearing a beret.  Soon, the bees will stop buzzing about flowers, nectar and honey.  Instead, they’ll only buzz about their concepts, collective vision and, if they are German bees, their Weltanschauung (or world view). 

            Then, the bees will begin to argue with each other buzzing about the tension between their individual and collective "artistic vision."  The queen will want to be called the hive “master.”  The worker bees will want to be called “artisan” bees, instead of “worker bees.” 

            Soon fights will break out within the hives over creative differences.  Colonies will split, not over natural population issues, but simply over an inability to work creatively together.  Small colonies of bohemian bees will cluster together, in spite of their differences, in certain areas of the bee-yard.

            Finally, beekeepers will get the message and stick to renting bees out for pollination and stop trying to capitalize on their bees' creative talents by renting bees out for creative art projects.      

            Still, we have to add yet another career to the growing list of career opportunities open to our honeybees: creative artist.

Mark Grossmann of Hazelwood, Missouri & Belleville, Illinois

About the Author

 

Experimental Bees Kidnapped from Neuroscience Lab!

1 January 2015

THE BEE-NAPPERS STRIKE

            Just when researchers at the Center for Neurosciences at Dundee University in Scotland thought it was safe to keep their bees at the University, someone kidnapped the poor insects.  Four hives of bees, worth about $5,500.00, were stolen in a carefully timed and executed operation.

 University of Dundee

            The lead researcher, Dr. Chris Connolly, checked the bees when he got to work one morning.  All were “present and accounted for.”  But, when Connolly began work, just 20 minutes later, the bees were gone.  With such a swift, neat, but unusual crime, it’s fair to guess that the bee-nappers had a good knowledge of beekeeping. 

            At the time, police were checking-out reports of two men driving a white van in the area around the time of the theft.  One of the men was reported to have been wearing a “beekeepers helmet.”  Apparently, no arrests have ever been made.

THE MOST POPULAR THEORIES?

            Intrigued by the mystery, I began reading press reports about the thefts along with speculation about the motives of the bee-nappers.   I was surprised by what seemed to be the most popular theories.  I'll present the three most popular theories below - in reverse order:

3RD MOST POPULAR THEORY: BLACK MARKET BEES

            Some seemed sure that the bees were stolen for sale on the honeybee black market.  But there’s never been a honeybee black market because the market for honeybees isn’t restricted in any particular way.  So, there’s really no need for a black market. 

            Black markets appear when supplies are artificially limited, sale prices are kept artificially high (often through high taxation), or the product is illegal.  None of these things has happened in the market for honeybees.

            There is a lot of talk about a bee shortage because of the large number of unexplained bee deaths throughout the world.  The deaths from the mysterious CCD (Colony Collapse Disorder) actually haven’t produced a shortage of honeybees for pollination in commercial agriculture . . . yet.  The concern is that, at the present rate of decline in bee populations, a real shortage may appear in the future.

            So there’s no real bee shortage from which to make a profit.  

2ND MOST POPULAR THEORY: THEFT ORCHESTRATED BY PESTICIDE MANUFACTURERS TO COVER-UP “THE SECRET”

            Others strongly argue that a consortium of international corporations engaged in the manufacture of pesticides hired two guys in a white van to steal bees from a research facility in Scotland because, presumably, researchers were “getting too close to discovering the truth” about the dangers of pesticides to honeybees. 

            Pesticides get a lot of attention as the villain in unexplained honeybee deaths both in the popular press and in scientific circles.  But, if you really think about it, there’s a piece of this puzzle that doesn’t exactly fit.

            A World Without Bees, written by Allison Benjamin and Brian McCallum is one of the most definitive, yet accessible, books on the current decline in honeybee populations.  The book’s authors explain that the “positioning” of pesticide manufactures in the agricultural marketplace actually takes some of the heat off of them as a primary cause of mass honeybee deaths.

            If you manufacture major agricultural pesticides, it takes years of sales to recoup research and development costs and make a substantial profit.  So, if your pesticide really kills pollinating honeybees . . . , well, for the corporate officers, board of directors, and stockholders, your “profit show” ends before it even starts.

            Also, the injured parties aren’t country farmers with 40 acres and a mule.  Modern agriculture is dominated by a small number of operators of multi-billion dollar agricultural conglomerates.  If you sell a pesticide that kills their pollinating honeybees, you’ve made “some powerful and influential enemies.”  Even large corporations don’t really want to be in cross-hairs of too many other large corporations.    

            Result?

            Most major chemical companies test and retest their agricultural pesticides for bee safety.  They also pay for independent testing because their financial survival depends on selling pesticides that are “pollinator safe.”  Most of the well substantiated issues with pesticide safety have more to do with the complexity of pesticide application in terms of timing and possible interactions with other unforeseen agents present in the environment.

            So, if pesticide manufactures knew “the secret,” they’d be yelling it from the roof-tops, because it would spread the blame to faulty application (failure to read the instructions) and “other agents” in the environment.   

1ST MOST POPULAR THEORY:  THE BEES WERE STOLEN BECAUSE THEY WERE GENETICALLY MODIFIED SUPER-INTELLIGENT BEES.   

            If you think I had to search for this one, you would be mistaken.  This was the only theory suggested in the earliest article announcing the theft and -- it turns out – one of the most popular.  But truth and popularity aren’t necessarily the same thing.

            The theory goes like this.  Because the bees were part of a neuroscience research project, the object of the project must have been to genetically modify the bees to make them super-intelligent.  And this, somehow, led to their disappearance.

            I only had to consider this theory for a moment before I realized that there was no other possible explanation.  I have all the evidence I need: I saw an episode of the television series the X-Files in the mid-1990’s that was . . . sort of . . . something like this – only without bees.  Based on the content of that completely fictional episode, alone, I feel absolutely sure that I, now, know the explanation.

            These genetically engineered bees developed a level of intelligence far superior to human beings.  Unfortunately, as they became more intelligent, they also developed a serious mental illness.  These bees became OCD – super controlling honeybees. 

            Before you underestimate the significance of this, consider the honeybee.  What is the most controlled and organized group of insects in the world?  Honeybees.  What happens when these insects, whose normal life is little more than “to control” and “be controlled” from birth to death, go insane and become super-controlling and super-intelligent? 

            You probably know some people who are concerned about a dystopian “New World Order” – a society in which freedom is gone and everything is controlled by some central authority.  Well, let me tell you, if honeybees get a hold of the NWO idea, they’ll take “total control” to a whole new level.

            Scottish researchers soon realized that they had produced the bee equivalent of Frankenstein’s monster, a strain of super-intelligent, but hopelessly insane honeybees.   Understanding the danger their bees posed to the future of the world, researchers, wisely, decided to kill these power-mad, control-freak bees.  But the super-intelligent bees got wind of the plan.  Several escaped and developed their own plan to free the rest of the colony. 

            Hiding in the lab one morning, a handful of escaped bees managed to free their compatriots.  They’ve, now, all moved to the North Pole and are living in their own “Fortress of Solitude” while planning the enslavement of every man, woman and child on earth. 

            (pause)

            Now, dear reader, what I’ve said above, about the “Most Popular Theory,” is supposed to be joke.  But, considering some of the speculation I’ve read, even in the mainstream press, I’m honestly afraid that many will find my theory and supporting “evidence” compelling.  I must remind some readers that an old X-Files episode isn’t evidence of anything.

            In fact, the “neuro-science” researchers were researching the effects of neuro-toxins, pesticides, on the bees.  This is an extremely common type of honeybee research.   

            I “free associated” the explanation, above, from a particular episode of the television show, The X-Files, “Eve,” Season 3, Episode 10, which aired for the first time on 10 December 1993.  It got good reviews, by the way.  It’s a fictional story about a group of human beings genetically engineered to have superhuman intelligence. 

            As a result of the genetic tampering, they all became hopelessly insane and were forcibly restrained in an institution.  Of course, a few escape and go on a homicidal rampage.  This is when the series’ star characters, investigating agents Scully and Mulder, become involved.

 The X-Files: Characters Scully and Mulder with two young "Eve's"

            But, leaving the world of sci-fi, this bee-napping still leaves us with a major mystery. 

A REAL MYSTERY

            The bee-napping has never been solved.  And, maybe, the strange speculation in the press was a reaction to the fact that it’s honestly tough to figure out a motive.

            The stolen bees were British Black Bees (A. m. mellifera).  Although a few of these bees are kept by amateur beekeepers, this subspecies of bees was believed to have become extinct in the wilds of the U.K. about 90 years ago.  The die-out was the result of disease.  

 British Black Bee (by Alvesgaspar)

            Instead of importing more British Black Bees from North America or Continental Europe, another bee, the Italian Bee (A. m. ligustica), was imported and continues to dominate beekeeping in the U.K. (and this dominance, later, spread throughout the rest of the western world).  

                                                           Italian Bee  (by Ken Thomas)

            Why?  Because the Italian bee proved much healthier and much more productive than the old British Black Bees. 

            So, consider the question:  Why would anyone want to steal 45,000 British Black Bees.  Yes, they were worth about $5,500.00 to the research facility!  But that figure doesn’t represent the value of these bees on the auction block – there are a lot of British Black Bees still around in captivity.  They aren’t expensive. 

            These particular bees were valuable because the researchers had invested a lot in testing this group and were in the process of conducting and observing test results at the time of the theft.  So, a new group of bees might have to be re-tested -- starting from scratch -- a lot of added expense. 

            Yet, another observation. 

            How many people actually knew the research facility even had bees? 

            If you wanted to steal the most valuable and re-saleable bees, you’d rob a local beekeeper of the hives in his or her bee yard.  Bee-napping from the research facility was complicated and presented more danger of getting caught.   Then, you end up with 45,000 rather unproductive bees that are of little use to modern beekeepers.   Not only are the bees unproductive, but sell for rather low prices on the general market as a “specialty” bee sometimes kept by hobbyists.

            And, if a local beekeeper bought these bees, there’s a good chance that, within a year or two, someone would notice the keeper's highly unusual stock of British Black Bees.  Then, questions would be asked – questions about the only known theft of British Black Bees in the U.K.  So, added to all the other drawbacks, these bees, found in the U.K., would attract attention and be . . . “traceable.”

            It’s been more than two years since the Dundee University bee-napping.  There’ve been no reports of arrests.  There’s no word that the investigation is still open.

            So, who kidnapped 45,000 bees from a reasonably secure facility at Dundee University early one Sunday morning?  And who completed the whole operation, without leaving a trace, in the space of just 20 minutes?

             There really is a mystery.

Mark Grossmann of Hazelwood, Missouri & Belleville, Illinois

About the Author

The Bee Underground & Mistaken Identity

25 December 2014 

 Mining Bee Emerges from the Ground

            What’s a mining bee?  I imagined a bee wearing a light mounted on a hat and buzzing around in a dark shaft.  Beekeepers putting bees to work underground!?  Maybe a way had been found to get bees to mine coal.

            Well, I thought, doesn’t that beat all. 

            It’s not as if bees don’t have enough trouble these days with the abuse they take when trucked all over the country for pollination services.  Not only does the travel take them over bumpy roads that deprive the insects of sleep but, then, they’re starved for a day or so (to make them more aggressive pollinators).  Finally, twice as many honeybees are released into the fields as there are blossoms to pollinate.  That way, all the blossoms get pollinated, but many of bees are left exhausted and underfed.

            Now, bees are forced into the coal mines!?

“SOLD MY SOUL TO THE COMPANY STORE”?

            I had visions of the poor bees being sent to work in the coal mines during the “off season."  Worked long hours, exposed to excessive coal dust, only to earn “company script” that could only be redeemed for food at the “company” honeycomb. But soon, I figured out that this wasn’t a “16 Tons” story after all.

Song: “16 Tons” Sung by Tennessee Ernie Ford – Wikipedia & YouTube

THE BEE UNDERGROUND  

            Bees are called mining bees when the individual bees of a particular species nest underground -- burrowing into the ground to build their nests and raise their young.  And mining bees aren’t a particular species.  In fact, about 70% of all bee species nest underground. 

            The most familiar bees, the honeybee and bumblebee, are among the relatively few species of bees that build nests above ground.  But most bee species can be called “mining bees” and, also, a few less flattering and/or interesting names such as “digger bees,” “ground bees,” “dirt bees,” and “mud bees.”   This inoffensive group of bee-species pioneered underground living. 

LIVING UNDER THE RADAR

            Mining bees are quite inoffensive.  They build their nests individually, but they live in communities with dozens of nests clustered together in an arrangement not unlike a modern human subdivision.  There may be a community in your own yard.  The period of frequent above-ground appearances by these
unaggressive bees is a seasonal event.  Their active season lasts, at most, for few months or as little as a couple of weeks.  You can mow over their nests and walk one top of the community without doing much damage. 

            I've heard it said that there are stories of persons walking barefoot over a very large cluster of some types of mining bees and experiencing some stings.  But I couldn’t find the story of single sting.  In any case, the pain from the sting of the worst of the mining bees could never compare to the pain caused by a honeybee or wasp sting. 

            You’d think with this inoffensive lifestyle, everyone would love these retiring, subterranean bees as they went about their business living quietly “off the grid.”  But, instead, a lot of people are trying to kill them.

DEATH BLOW

            In spite of the value of mining bees in terms of soil aeration, when found in yards and gardens, many people go to great lengths to exterminate these retiring bees.

            But why?

            In the post Let Mining Bees Be, Rusty of Honey Bee Suite introduces us to mining bees and goes on to suggest that many people have a mistaken fear of all bees and bee stings.  People confuse the retiring mining bees with the honey and bumblebees – both of which have a much more powerful and painful sting.  Fearing actual injury, pesticides are used to wipe out whole colonies of mining bees – really for no good reason.

            I wondered if that could be true.  But I was suspicious.  Sometimes, there are misunderstandings. But, you know, where there’s smoke there’s fire.  These “apparently harmless” bees must “be up to something.”  So, I started digging, myself -- digging to get the real story.  And the real story was a real surprise.

IDENTITY THEFT!

            Not only is Rusty giving us the straight story, but there’s something sinister going on in the background.  Mining bees are the victims of identity theft.  People mistake them for other stinging insects.  And, while the other insects often escape unharmed, the mining bees get exterminated – for stings they didn’t commit!

            One instance provides an excellent illustration of how it works.  A gardener noticed a mining bee community nesting in, or around, his garden.  The following weekend, while working in the garden, a large yellow and black flying insect suddenly crawled out of the ground and stung him.  The sting really, really hurt.  Then, a large -- almost 2 inch long – prehistoric-looking yellow and black flying insect emerged from the ground.  By now, the disabled victim of the unbearably painful sting suspected that the first bee had just “softened him up.”   Now, it's really big older sister would come out of the ground and . . . “finish the job.”

            But there is a problem here.  The gardener wasn’t stung by a bee at all.  The stinging yellow and black flying insect was a true “yellow jacket.”  Some call bumblebees “yellow jackets,” but the name properly belongs to a large wasp. 

            The “yellow jacket” wasp doesn’t have any relationship to the mining bees.  And these wasps are dangerous.  They are responsible for most of the so-called “bee sting deaths” in the United States during each year.

            But, wait, what about the giant prehistoric looking yellow and black bee that crawled up out of the ground after the “yellow jacket” gave the gardener that painful sting?  Well, that wasn’t a bee either.  It was a cicada-killing wasp.  These two-inch long monsters never sting people.  They just climb up out of the ground, from time to time, to scare the living daylights out anyone who happens to see them.

            Unfortunately, “yellow jacket” stings and cicada-killing wasp sightings probably result in most mining bee extermination.  With the neither of the wasps being touched by the extermination effort.  Terrified landowners take substantial measures to wipe out the offenders.  Unfortunately, more often than not, the innocent mining bees are wiped out and “yellow jackets” are left to go on stinging.

Mark Grossmann of Hazelwood, Missouri & Belleville, Illinois

About the Author

When Good Bees Go Bad – Again! Car-Jacking Swarm Goes Free!

18 December 2014 

 Honeybee Gang?

            As a 21 year-old student, George Neal, parked his car in the law-abiding community of Hampshire, U.K., he was suddenly overtaken by car-jackers.  But these weren’t your typical organized criminals or desperate individuals.  These were honeybees!

            But honeybees are insects. 

            How could they steal a car?

            Well, what they lack in size, they make-up for in numbers.  20,000 bees descended on Neal’s car just after he parked.  What were they planning to do with the car after they “subdued” poor George?  Can bees operate a motor vehicle?

            I don’t know.  Maybe the bees hadn’t thought that far ahead.  Maybe they were planning to force George to drive the car for them!  That would have been a game-changer.  Try adding kidnapping to the car-jacking charge!

            One way or another, this story was headed for a bad ending.  But quick thinking by a friend, Rory Edwards, foiled the bees’ evil plan.  Calling animal control, a task-force specially trained to deal with bee-related hostage situations (a beekeeper) arrived on the scene and removed the bees.

            The criminal bee gang was headed by a bee named “Queen.”  It is assumed that she and her gang of worker bees had just rumbled with a rival gang in a local hive.  Losing the contest, she and her gang left the hive in a swarm and went on a crime rampage throughout the city.  

            Experts noted that this is a common pattern with bee gangs.  It all starts with a rivalry between two gangs in the hive.  Typically, each gang is headed-up by a queen bee.  The gangs rumble. The loser leaves the neighborhood with her swarm of gang members (worker bees).  The swarm goes looking for a new neighborhood where it can establish another headquarters (hive).   From there, the gang can wreak havoc throughout the city. 

ARE WE SAFE?

            Mercifully, George was safe and his automobile intact.  But in yet another – all too typical example of the complete failure of modern criminal justice -- the queen and her gang were out on the street within an hour.  They weren’t out on-bond either.  They were released without any changes being filed! 

            But how could this happen?!  You’ve probably guessed already.  It was one of those -- all too common -- legal technicalities.  It seems that U.K. laws are written to apply to people and not to insects.  So, bees can roam in criminal gangs terrorizing honest citizens with impunity.  What will happen when this swarm lets the air out of my auto tires or covers your home with toilet paper?  Nothing!  They’ll be released to strike again!

            You can bet if you or I let the air out someone’s tires or covered someone’s property with toilet paper, we’d be doing hard time.  But, when Queenie and her gang do the same thing – they walk (or, rather, fly) away free.

WHAT TO DO?

            What can honest citizens do?  Well, establish a neighborhood watch.  Keep an eye out for any neighborhood insects sporting the bee “gang colors.”  What are the honeybee gang colors?    Yellow and black, of course.  If necessary you can get a beekeeper’s outfit complete with head to toe netting. 

            But, maybe, it’s time for more aggressive action.  You can arm yourself with a smoker.  A smoker is a device the shoots large amounts of smoke.  And smoke will subdue even the wildest and toughest bees.  With a smoker in hand, you can boldly confront any swarm of bees as they swagger around your neighborhood.  Just blow a puff in the air to let them know you mean business.  If any try to swarm you, just blow a puff of smoke over their heads.  They’ll get the idea!  

Mark Grossmann of Hazelwood, Missouri & Belleville, Illinois

About the Author

Bumblebee Superhero Saves Sister from Spider’s Grasp!!!

11 December 2014

            You’re a bumblebee.  Flying along and minding your own business.  As you look for the next flower, suddenly, you’re stopped. You hit something you didn’t see. But, when you try to free yourself, you find you’re caught.  You’re attached to a fine sticky thread.  You can’t break the thread.  You can’t tear yourself away.

            Suddenly, the owner of the thread appears.  Dark black with eight legs, this spider looks hungry.  You, a rather meaty bumblebee, would be a week of food the arachnid. 

            You try desperately to escape, but you can’t get loose.  You try to sting the approaching spider, but the arachnid is nimble on its eight feet and avoids your stinger.  After all, the spider isn’t stuck in a web.  You are. 

            The spider keeps coming.  It can’t sting, but it can bite, and that bite is fatal.  You're sure you’ll never see your nest and sisters again.  This looks like your “final roundup.”  The spider closes-in . . . and, then, . .  “Pow!” . . . “Slam!” . . . “Bang!”. 

            “Holy last-minute rescue, Bat Woman!”

            But was it really Kathy Kane . . .  or . . .  was it Barbara Gordon?

            No, it was your sister bumblebee come to your rescue.  She takes care of that spider in short order.  In seconds, the arachnid is on its back being stung, and you are saved.

  Bumblebee Rescues Sister Bee and Makes Short Work of Spider

            Apparently, there is a genuine sense of sisterhood among bumblebees (most bees are female).  Few would doubt this among honeybees.  The honeybee is the most social of bees. But bumblebees are different.  All bees are social.  But bumblebees come closest to being loner bees.

           

            Instead of building the traditional honeybee hive and living there for years, bumblebees build nests and abandon them, in favor of new nest, every year.  Bumblebee colonies are really quite small.  And, bumblebees don’t hunt for food in groups.  They forage, alone, on wild flowers and grasses in wide open spaces.

            But, when push comes to shove, your sister bumblebee will come through for you – even if you're in the clutches of a large black spider.  When the rescuing bumblebee was caught on video, viewers were surprised.  No one knew that bumblebees could be so brave and loyal.  I guess this loner bee kept its abilities to itself.  You know.  Like Kathy Kane.  

            There’s that name, again.

            Who’s Kathy Kane?

            An ex-circus acrobat turned idle heiress.  But unknown to the world, in her spare time, Kathy was Bat Woman!  In the days just after the end of World War II, being a female superhero wasn’t easy.  The cultural stereotypes were domestic and dependent.  

            Even when Kathy pulled Batman’s fat out of the fire, everyone thought he’d actually done it himself, but given her the credit.  Kathy couldn’t even carry her Bat-gadgets in a utility belt, like her male counterpart. Instead, she had to conceal them as stereotypical contents of the contemporary woman’s purse: lipstick, compact, charm bracelet, and hair net.

            Maybe our rescuing superhero bumblebee has had the same problem. Concealing her dramatic rescues and adventures was necessary because the world wasn’t ready for a bumblebee superhero.  But maybe all that will change.  You know, like it did for Barbara Gordon.

            Who’s Barbara Gordon?

            Batgirl.

            After DC Comics retired Bat Woman, Kathy Kane, it would be almost 15 years before they introduced Batgirl, a female superhero, who was more . . . "in your face."  No idle heiress, Barbara had a PhD and carried her weapons right on her utility belt just like her male counterpart.   

            Like Batgirl, our superhero bumblebee may have no special powers.  But, instead, she may have special training, enabling her to take-out spiders with greatest of ease.  But then, again, this could be a one-time event.  

            Suppose our bumblebee actually does have super powers.  But, maybe, she just got here from . . . “somewhere” else.  You know.  Like Luma Lynai.

            Who is Luma Lynai?

            Superwoman.

            DC Comics' Superwoman, Luma Lynai, came, not from the planet Krypton, but from her own home planet, Staryl.  And this was a problem.  Although she arrived on Earth and stayed long enough to save the planet, the climate wasn’t to her taste. 

            When Superman left the red sun of Krypton, the yellow sun of Earth gave him super strength.  But Luma came from Staryl – a planet with the orange sun.  The yellow sun of Earth made her sick.  

            More tragic, still, was the intense romance that developed between Superwoman and Superman.  Luma wanted Superman to come with her to another planet where they could live happily ever after.  But there were career issues that couldn’t be resolved.

            If most of us decided to go to another planet, we could probably find at least one adequate candidate to take over our job in our absence.  But Superman’s job, defending the Earth against destruction, had a unique job description -- one for which Superman had unique qualifications.  Sadly, he couldn’t leave.

            So, maybe the bumblebee on the video is a “visiting” superhero bee from somewhere else.  But maybe she is braver, stronger and more loyal than your average bumblebee. Then, again, maybe "Super-Bumbles" had super powers and lost them.  But, then, she regained many of her lost special abilities through intense training.  You know.  Like Princess Diana of Themyscira.

            Who’s Princess Diana of Themyscira?

            Well, she used to be a princess with superpowers, but lost her title and powers to become DC Comics' Diane Prince -- operating her own boutique and living in the mortal world.  Blessed by every imaginable Greek god and goddess, she had a bright, royal, and superpower-ed future.  But, then, things got complicated.

            She entered the mortal world with her superpowers intact to become Wonder Woman.  She was helping a mortal -- an intelligence officer named Steve Trevor in his fight for justice, when he was framed for a crime he didn’t commit and imprisoned.  She committed herself to freeing him from prison by proving his innocence.  She knew it would be a long job.

            But wouldn’t you know it.  

            Just when she was getting started, her fellow Amazons decided they would all shift to another dimension.  Even if Diana stayed in this world, her superpowers wouldn’t. 

            But she couldn’t let Steve down.  So, figuratively speaking, she took her lemons and made lemonade.  She found the foremost marshal arts trainer in the world, the blind expert, I Ching.   Under his instruction, she undertook a life of continuous training until she became so good at marshal arts that she might as well have got her superpowers back

            So, maybe our superhero bumblebee doesn’t really have special abilities but, instead, has trained extensively at the nest of a bumblebee teacher who is an expert at defeating spiders.

            No one is really sure if the video shows typical bumblebee behavior.  But if it does, bumblebees are not just social, but far more loyal and brave than anyone expected. Taking on the spider was an act of courage.  Spiders really are particularly dangerous to bumblebees.  

            Being loner bees, we don’t get to see very much of bumblebees interacting with each other.  They do, inside the bumblebee nests.  But these bees don’t leave the nest in swarms.  Rather, they venture out, alone, across the fields of wild grass and scrub brush searching for nectar and honey. 

            These bees are hard workers.  Maybe they don’t have super powers, but they have a special skill.  It’s in the buzz.  With the loudest vibrating buzz of any bee, the bumblebee can buzz even when it’s not flying.  And that strong vibration can free thick pollens from certain flowers in a way that a weaker vibration can't.

            So, bumblebees can pollinate some crops that are a bit of a challenge for other bees – such as tomatoes, cranberries, almonds, apples, zucchinis, avocados, and plums. This bee’s unique style of pollination accounts for about 3 billion dollars in produce each year.

            We already knew these bees were tough, hard workers.  But we didn’t know that, secretly, they fight for justice and rescue the oppressed in their spare time.

Mark Grossmann of Hazelwood, Missouri & Belleville, Illinois

About the Author

She Who Would Be Queen – The Virgin Queen Bee

4 December 2014

            A “queen bee” is the “queen” of a colony of honey bees. Honey bees live in colonies and build rather complex structures called hives. A queen is the mother of all of the hive’s population including the (female) “worker bees” and (male) “drone” bees. So, in each colony, there is only one reproductive female. And, again, that female is called the queen.

But, have you ever wondered what it takes to become "the queen?"

Surprisingly, the candidates are selected by the worker bees themselves. I say “candidates” because, although a number of virgin queens will grow to maturity, “[i]n the end, there can be only one.” 

Just one queen to a hive.

The queen’s eggs are cared for by the worker bees. After the eggs have hatched, the young bee larvae continue to be raised by the worker bees.  The members of the brood (young bees of the colony and hive) are raised in a comb -- not unlike a honeycomb.

Their separate “brood comb” is used only to house the young bees -- the members of the growing brood. As the worker bees nurture the brood, they select certain larvae and feed them a diet of a special food. That food causes these larvae to develop into reproductive virgin queen bees.

The young queen bee larvae are, like the young worker bees, sealed into one of those six-sided cells in the brood comb.  But the cells containing the developing queens are fully stocked with pure royal jelly – the food of the “royal” queen honeybees.  There, they develop and, eventually, emerge from their cells as young virgin queens. 

As the virgin queen bees emerge from their cells, the old queen may leave the hive with a “swarm.” The "swarm" is composed of some, but not all, of the worker bees in the hive. Led by the old queen bee, the swarm will find a new location. There, they will build a new hive and form a new colony.

But why does the old queen leave her familiar hive when her own virgin queen daughters reach maturity?
Well, when you hear what happens next, you’ll understand why the old queen wants to “get out of town” as fast as possible.

The first young queens to emerge from their “cells” will hunt down any other young queens and try to kill them. Young queens don’t fight fair. Rivals will be stung to death as they are emerging from the cells of the brood comb. Sometimes, not content to wait for their potential rivals to actually emerge from their brood cells, young queens will burrow into a sealed cell and sting the resident-rival to death.

Although the old queen may have left with a swarm of followers to form a new colony, the process may be repeated with yet another swarm leaving the colony with a few of the recently hatched virgin queens. These young queens will get along until the new colony is established. But once the colony is formed, the virgin queens will have the same cut-throat power struggle. They will fight to the death until there is only one left.

But just being the last surviving queen bee in the colony isn’t enough.  The worker bees still won’t recognize the lone survivor as the queen.

Why?

The queen is the only reproductive bee in the colony.  With honeybees, the lone surviving young queen is still only the “apparent heir to the throne" because she is still a “virgin” queen.  When the surviving queen mates, she immediately gives off a pheromone that signals the worker bees that she is a capable of reproduction.  

One can almost imagine a sudden change in the demeanor or the worker bees who, after days of chaotic behavior toward their would-be sovereign, suddenly become still.  Undoubtedly, they begin buzzing the honeybee equivalent of “All Hail the New Queen.” 

And, then, what happens?  Well, the new young queen will begin her reign.  Occasionally, an outside queen can arrive at the door of the hive and announce a challenge to the reigning monarch.  But this is quite rare.

Still, even aristocrats as absolutely "positioned" as queen bees have to “take a measure” of the political winds.  Queen bees must be ever alert for the bee equivalent of a Parliamentary vote of “no confidence.”  This happens when the aging queen discovers that the worker bees are suddenly raising a large group of new virgin queen bees in the brood comb.

Then, the old queen needs to plan a hasty getaway with a few key supporters – unless she is too old or ill to move.  If she remains, she is likely to be the very last victim of last survivor of the new group of virgin queens. 

Because . . . “in the end, there can be only one.”

All Hail the New Queen.

Mark Grossmann of Hazelwood, Missouri & Belleville, Illinois

About the Author