Thursday, February 5, 2015

Part III - “The [Honeybee] Gangs of New York”

5 February 2015

[Humor]


In Part 1 of this series, we examined the strange case of a group of honeybees that swarmed the White House. These bees didn’t march or gather in the streets.  Instead they “occupied” a bush in a strange foreshadowing of tactics used in the Occupy Wall Street demonstrations soon to come.  A connection?  No one knows.  The White House bees were, apparently, captured, but their fate remains unknown. 
In Part 2, a short time after the bees had “occupied” a bush on the White House lawn, a swarm of bees descended on Wall Street.  An innocent frolic or determined protest?  Who can say?  These bees were captured quietly.  Later, it was revealed that the entire swarm had moved to Connecticut. All honeybee swarms are homeless, so the move to pricey Connecticut raised questions.    

And . . . these and other questions remain unanswered.

THE NEXT CHAPTER

All of the relocated “Wall Street bees” have remained curiously silent after their sudden move to the affluent, country club laden, hills of Connecticut.  But, then, only a short time later, the bees reappeared in the Big Apple.  But they didn’t arrive as a homeless swarm.  Instead, they appeared as seasonal guests in some of New York’s finest Hotels.  That takes more than “honey-money.”  Funny how the fortunes of these bees suddenly changed after their attack on Wall Street? 

Maybe the sight of their idle, wealthy sisters mingling in the high society of New York’s hotel scene, stirred up the swarms of poor, homeless bees still roaming the mean streets of the city.  But, shortly after the much publicized “Occupy Movement first appeared in the Big Apple, in 2011, New York exploded in a wave of honeybee gang-related violence.  .

WERE RELAXED IMMIGRATION LAWS TO BLAME?

Some blame the mid-2010 change in the city’s beekeeping laws.  Laws prohibiting beekeeping in the city were repealed. Some argue that, without hives and colonies, there could be no swarms.  But with legalized beekeeping, honeybee colonies migrated to the city in record numbers.

The migrations were spontaneous and unplanned.  Without sufficient housing to accommodate the immigrants, swarms of honeybees began to roam the city’s streets  When a swarm descended on the Wall Street restaurant, “Cipriani Wall Street,” (either to catch an expensive lunch or occupy the high-end restaurant in protest), the insects were nabbed by the NYPD beekeeper’s low-pressure vacuum.  The “swarm” was, quickly and quietly, over.

DOES NEW YORK CITY REWARD HONEYBEES FOR SWARMING?

Suspicion grew that swarming gangs of bees were being “paid off” to leave the city.  Then, the bees were relocated in, not just comfortable, but luxurious accommodations.  Critics charge that these pay-offs reward bees for swarming.  This has caused swarming incidents to increase just like any other activity would increase in response to a predictable reward.  Poor, homeless honeybees may see gang swarming as the only way to change their standard of living.

THE QUIET AND, THEN, THE STORM

After the Wall Street “incident,” there was a period of quiet.  But, as affluent bees began to appear in New York hotels, the street swarms exploded.

First, Little Italy was targeting by an angry swarm of honeybees.   Cleverly, the bees blocked the entrance to the Italian-American Museum at the corner of Mulberry and Grand Streets.  No one dared enter the museum as police were forced to close the sidewalk. (Well, actually, the museum was closed at the time)  The bees blocked the museum entrance by pretending to attack a U.S. Mailbox on the sidewalk outside   

Onlookers were terrified.   Mike Costabile, who works nearby, said, “It was pretty cool.” Finally, Little Italy’s bee violence Strike Force arrived in full riot gear.  The team’s single member, Elie Miodownik, of the New York City Beekeepers Association, was wearing a screened hat and full beekeeper’s gear.

It took almost 3 hours from the swarm’s first landing to capture all the bees.  Stubbornly, they refused to budge from the U.S. Mailbox.  Maybe the bees intended a protest against the Federal Government or were expressing dissatisfaction with their postal service.   The reason for the bee’s sudden attack has never been revealed.  Miodownik, however, speculated that the swarm had been defeated in a gang war in a nearby hive and ejected from the hive to wander the mean streets, homeless and angry. 

Next, a Washington Heights fire escape was attacked and occupied by an angry swarm of honey bees.

Then, a tree outside the high-end Bulgari store in Midtown New York was the object another honeybee gang’s fury.   

Finally, on Mott Street in Chinatown, police closed down a section of the block as a gang of angry and unruly honeybees attacked a streetlight between Bayard and Pell Streets.  A terrified crowd fled the scene.  Well, actually, no one fled the scene.  Instead, more people gathered to take pictures of the bees.  But the crowd should have fled in fear.

This time NYPD beekeeper, Officer Tony Planakis, was called to the scene.  Assisted by Andrew Cote, of the New York City Beekeepers Association, the Mott Street swarm was finally brought under control.  Cote speculated that this was part of the same gang that had caused a disturbance on Hester Street earlier that same day.  But, then, Cote went on to drop a hint about a planned move to Connecticut for these bees.

Connecticut?!  If you keep rewarding bees with an upscale lifestyle in Connecticut, they will just continue to swarm!  But, no matter, maybe the bees have something to swarm about.  Cote went on to say that with honeybees allowed in the city, urban beekeeping and novice practitioners taking poor care of their hives were likely responsible for the repeated swarms. 

Translation:  Urban honeybee slumlords were providing overpriced, under-code, hives to these poor honeybee immigrants.  Force to live in these squalid conditions, the angry bees may just be trying to attract public attention to their plight!

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