It’s a Warning! Not Just a Story for Kids!

16 April 2015

[Humor]

            Winnie the Pooh was a bear with a problem.  In his more innocent time, Pooh was lucky to live in a sympathetic community of lifelong friends.  So, there was no talk of “interventions” or “rehab.”  Friends just helped Pooh cope an uncontrolled urge to eat honey. 

             Pooh got a friend a present – a pot full of honey.  But when Pooh went to give the friend the gift . . . well . . . by the time Pooh arrived at the friend’s home, the gift was just a pot.  If Pooh came over to your house for dinner, the honey jar intended to feed all your guests would turn-up empty right after Pooh helped himself.  When you went into your pantry for more, you’d find those containers empty too!

            The members of Pooh’s community seemed to be both willing and able to deal with their friend’s “problem.”  But not everyone wasn’t so sympathetic.  There were a few who had little sense of humor about having their honey stolen.  And, honey theft even provoked more anger if you threatened to eat the owners with the honey!  These were honeybees.  With them, Pooh met his match as memorialized in the 1967 Disney film, “Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree.”  

Poster Promoting Film

            That film chronicles one of the Pooh’s most ill-fated honey heists.  Obtaining a magic balloon from Christopher Robin, Pooh used this “aircraft” to float himself up to a beehive and help himself to several “paw-fuls” of honey.  Not having planned the heist, Pooh not only stuffed the honey into his month but, also, a number of bees – including the enraged queen.  As Pooh, rather rudely, spit out the bees and prepared to take some more honey, the ejected queen stung him and, in the ensuing confusion, Pooh’s hind end became stuck in the beehive.  Not a good situation for the hapless honey bear.

            The bees themselves “removed” Pooh from their hive.  The bear and Christopher Robin fled the pursuing swarm.  They only reached safety when they jumped into a large mud puddle – where they waited until the swarm of bees left.

            Apparently, not everyone understands that this is more than a children’s story.  It’s a warning.  If you want some honey, there’s a right way and wrong way to go about getting it.  And, if you decide to get some honey from a beehive, you’ve got to deal with the bees – which means you must “tread carefully.”  Wearing protective clothing . . . or . . . using a smoke gun (bees are a bit stunned by smoke) . . . or, if you’re a beekeeper, harvesting the honeycombs from a specially designed hive.

            Do NOT go over to the nearest hive and try to “help yourself.”

            Some readers may find this warning almost insulting.  They might say, “Who would ever do anything that foolish?”  “Everyone knows not to do anything like that!”

            You’d think so, but . . .

            On Sunday, 5 April 2015, in Port Richie Florida, three men decided they wanted some honey.  Noticing a large beehive in a nearby tree, they approached it, reached out, and broke off one of the hive’s large honeycombs.  The bees were unhappy with this turn of events and did what bee do.  They stung.

 The "Lifted" Honeycomb

            The police were called when neighbors heard the men screaming and saw them on the ground covered with bees.  Firefighters arrive and sprayed the men with water to remove the bees.  All three were transported to an area hospital with about 50 bee stings each.  The only other injury was to a woman who came out of her home in response to the honey robbers’ screams and approached too close to the hive.  She received about 12 stings and was briefly treated at an area hospital and released.

            There was quite a buzz in the neighborhood and the media.  Early reports suggested an “unprovoked” attack by the bees, but as the facts bear out, the bees were quite “provoked.”  Then, the bees were rumored to be Africanized Killer bees.  They weren’t.  These were just plain old honeybees.  Then, news reports included the prediction that the hive would destroyed.  It wasn’t.

The Hive

            Instead, the hive is being removed and relocated to another area – hopefully one with fewer fools who bother bees.   I suggest that the three would-be honey robbers should be forced to watch “Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree” at least once, but possibly as many as three times.  Each viewing should be introduced and followed by a brief lecture about the film: “It’s a warning!  Not just a story for kids!”

She who laughs last, laughs best!

About the Author

Part II: Honeybee Security Forces – Protection from the Serengeti to the Big Apple

09 April 2015

Last week, in Part I of this post, we explored the surprising world of honeybee security guards in the wilds of Africa.  These guard-bees protect agricultural fields and crops against nothing less than ravenously hungry wild elephants.  The bees took the assignment in stride.  The elephants are now afraid of the ever-vigilant bees.

            But I hear you saying, “Sure, those African bees can deal with wild animals in the heart of Africa.  The African breed of the honeybee (A. m. scutellata) is the meanest, toughest and touchiest honeybee on earth.  But African honeybees aren’t even allowed in the United States. 

African Honeybee

            In North America and Europe, the common honeybee is of the “Italian” breed.  What could our good-natured, though quite productive, Apis mellifera ligustica, do when given the job of a security guard?  Sure, bee security is great in the real jungle, but the urban jungle is something else.  Would-be thieves play for keeps on the mean streets of New York.  How will these Italian honeybees stand up to – or even survive – the daily threats from crime and criminals in the city.

Italian Honeybee

            Well, I don’t know how Italian bees would do in the streets, but their turf (the turf worth protecting) is far above the street.  Above the street?  Yes, above the mean streets atop the mean rooftops of New York.

            It’s been only a few years since honeybees were even allowed to migrate into the Big Apple.  Famous as a melding pot of diverse cultures, honeybee culture wasn’t part of the deal.  There might as well have been signs: “Welcome to New York, but no bees allowed!” 

            All that changed in about 2010, when declines in honey populations made every major North America city rethink its ban on honeybees.  People living in close quarters in the heart of the city had always been worried about stinging bees.  But with increased awareness, the people realized that day to day life with honeybees among them was a pleasant proposition.  Still, everyone thought that the best the new residents could bring to the city was more (and fresher) honey. 

            But everyone was in for a surprise. 

            While all eyes watched the mean streets, metal began to disappear from building roofs – particularly lead from the roofs of historic buildings.  Although few of us may have noticed, the price for metals has been steadily rising.  With every rise, metal theft becomes more profitable and, therefore, more attractive.  In many places, it’s becoming hard to find affordable insurance for the metal (and particularly lead) roofs of historic buildings. 

            Then, it happened. 

            One building owner wanted to raise bees.  But his neighbors were less than enthusiastic about these new residents wandering (or flying through) the area streets.  “The streets were mean enough” thought his neighbors.  If the honeybees got riled-up, they might make the mean streets even meaner by stinging up a storm. 

            The chance of something like that happening was remote, but "why argue," thought the building owner.   He already had a large flat open roof.  Hopefully, the bees would be safe there.  There had been metal robberies in the past.  The roof was made of lead, and lead was, and is, a valuable commodity these days.  If robbers came, the owner hoped that they wouldn't hurt the bees.  He installed the beehives.

            There were no more robberies.

            Word spread and the practice of keeping a number of hives on rooftops increased.  And, as it increased, lead theft from roofs decreased.  It seems that these honeybees don’t take kindly to metal robbers when they come in the dark of night and start messing with the bees’ hives.  Our Italian bees may not be as mean as their African cousins, but they have exactly the same venom and stings of exactly the same strength.  What’s the big difference between Italian bees and African bees?  The speed of the chase.

            Lesson? 

            When you’re cornered by a swarm of really angry honeybees on a rooftop, you can’t run so fast or so far away.  Would-be thieves were in for an “African treatment” even though it was coming from Italian bees. 

            Now that New Yorkers have the honeybee security idea down, they’re asking another question.  Do their rooftops have to look like security centers?  Of course not!  If you’re going to have a roof full of honeybees, why not have a rooftop garden or, better yet, gardens!  The flat tops of more than a few New York historic buildings are turning green!  No, really, the color green!  Lush gardens are beautifying the historic roofs and providing sources of nectar (a regular food-court) for their honeybee security forces.

            One can’t help but shed a tear when thinking about the employment prospects for our old security standby, the canines.  Lumbering and panting, these creatures sometimes need flea treatments and are subject to irritating licensing requirements.  They just don’t cut the same clean-green figure as those gently buzzing and quietly working honeybees.  And, of course, the dogs need to be given food, while the honeybees make food.  And what food they make!  Who can dislike an insect that makes something as good-tasting as honey?

Sorry, Fido!  We know you need the work, but you just can't replace a honeybee!

About the Author

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Part I: Honeybee Security Forces – Protection from the Serengeti to the Big Apple

02 April 2015

           What do you do when good elephants go bad?  You call-in the honeybees!  But are we coddling these elephant criminals?  Maybe.  But there’s a reason for this indulgence. 

            Elephant populations in Africa are declining.  One major factor in the decline is habitat loss.  If you’ve lived at all, you know what makes a downward spiral into a spiral.  When things go wrong, we are often challenged to do more and more . . . with less and less.  So are the elephants. 

            Without a habitat rich in food, they start going out to eat in places where food is abundant: farms.  Unfortunately, food produced by human farms is, also, a matter of survival - not just the farmers, but for their community as well.  When a farmer and elephants confront each other over a farm’s produce, the elephants often won’t back down.  Neither will the farmers.  The elephants know their size is a big factor in their success in any confrontation.  But the farmers have guns.  The elephants lose almost every battle.

            This was a tragic situation because both the farmers and elephants were only doing what they “had” to do.  Then, Lucy King, a researcher for “Save the Elephants,” thought of a solution.  What if you could build a fence?  But what kind of fence could withstand an elephant assault?  Well, the effectiveness of King’s fence didn’t depend on the strength of a wall.  She knew something about elephants.

            Elephants are afraid of bees.  Elephants are really afraid of bees.  This sounds like some kind of peculiar elephant behavior – a kind of animal version of psychological bias -- until you are introduced to the bees.  These are African bees.  In North America, we have African-ized bees.  That only means they have some African bee ancestors.  But even these hybrid bees are called “killer bees” for a reason.  The African bee is really, really mean.

            Why are African honeybees so mean?  Their touchiness probably has to do with the fierce “honey-robbing” African animals from which these bees have to protect their hives and honey stores.  African bees are, by the way, only a different “breed” of the same species of bee you see outside from time to time – if you live in Europe or North America.  But, like different dog breeds, different bee breeds can make for some big differences in behavior.

            African honey bees are slightly smaller than their European and North American counterparts, but the strength of their sting and venom is absolutely identical to the other members of its species.  So, what makes African bee into killer bees.  Only one thing.  Their behavior.  Like most honeybee breeds, these bees will leave you alone -- unless they suspect that you are after their honey.  Then, they will sting first and ask questions later.  They chase down a threat in large, densely packed swarms and sting and sting and sting . . . like no other bee of their species.  A swarm of these bees will chase you, at high speed, for a third of mile before letting off the chase.

            Elephants have learned, from generations in Africa, that there are some critters that are so mean (with stings that are so painful), it’s just not worth it to mess with them.

            And, Lucy King, knew that the elephants knew.  She found out that elephants stay away from acacia trees with African beehives.  And, not only do elephants never forget, apparently, they gossip about what they remember.  When an elephant hears that buzz, they take off in the opposite direction and tell their “herd-mates” to do the same.  Word spreads fast.

            King, with some help, created a “beehive fence.”  Hives hang at 10 meter intervals on a wire that extends entirely around a farmer’s field.  The hives are suspended, in the open, where they are visible.  At a height of about 6 feet, a trespassing elephant will bump into a hive or the wire and all the hives will swing – and out come the buzzing bees.  Then, the elephants forget about the meal and beat a path in the opposite direction. 

            In the end, this is a win/win result.  An often fatal confrontation is avoided.  The elephants don’t get the meal they wanted or needed, but the farmers aren’t forced to protect their own food supply by having to kill these large, and generally friendly, endangered creatures.  Confrontations and crop destruction is down by about 85%.

            The six foot-tall fence, also, allows farmers to harvest the bees’ honey.  These hives are fully functional, sheltered beekeepers’ hives.  But, I can hear someone asking an obvious question.  If African bees are so dangerous and so touchy about their honey, how can anyone “harvest” honey from one of their hives and . . . er, ah . . . live to tell about it?

            Actually, Africanized bees are excellent honey producers and have been widely domesticated by commercial beekeepers in Africa.  Why are they the bee of choice in Africa, but the “killer bee” in America?  Well, I think it has a lot to do with the people in Africa and North America.  Africans grow up with African bees  -- the only bee they’ve ever known.  They are much more careful of bees than the residents of Northern Europe or the United States.  Africans learn through example and experience how to avoid antagonizing their sensitive African bees. 

            On the other hand, in the southern United States where Africanized bees have become numerous over the last four decades, we tend to treat these bees the same way we’ve always treated our bees.  Except . . . our bees were of a much, much more docile nature.  

            Many North American beekeepers argue that Africanized bees are good honey producers and require nothing more than a little different handling than their North American and Northern European cousins.  Some are even concerned that, at a time when bee populations are declining, we are “disposing” of Africanized honeybee colonies – treating these as public hazards.

            I can agree that African bees are probably not so very dangerous for those who have grown up in a location in which these bees have always been common.  Raised in communities that have known no other bee than the African, even small children pick up proper safety behaviors, probably by example as much as by any formal instruction from parents. 

            But we, in North America, are not conditioned to the Africanized honeybee’s touchy behavior.  Quite the opposite.  Every year, deaths and severe injury result from provocations as simple as walking too close to a tree containing an Africanized hive.   The fear is understandable because the danger, at least to North Americans and Northern Europeans, is quite real.  Beekeepers are restricted in most locations and prohibited from maintaining Africanized bee colonies because of the danger to nearby residents.

            But our honeybee security forces are not restricted to rural Africa and can be found in at least one of America’s largest cities.  Next week, in “Part II,” security guard bees in the Big Apple.

About the Author

Honeybee Squatters Prefer Water Meters

26 March 2015

Water meter reading is becoming a dangerous profession.  Postal workers delivering mail have their dogs and, now, water meter readers have their bees!  For some reason, known only to the bees themselves, honeybee colonies are taking up residence in water meters.  

Stranger, still, the bees have a real preference for underground water meters.  How do they get into the meters?  Often, through the small key holes that are supposed to be used only by the meter readers themselves.  What’s especially odd about this is that the honey bees aren’t natural underground nest or hive builders.  There are a large number of lesser known bees that do nest underground, but the poor honey-production of these underground bees has kept them out of the limelight.

Worse yet, fear gave way to panic (at least it did if you were a water meter reader) when it was popularly believed that only Africanized honeybees would build nests underground.  So, if there were bees in your water meter, they had to be Africanized -- in other words -- killer bees.  

Africanized honey bees are hybrids resulting from the mating of African honey bees (Apis mellifera scutellata) and any one of several species of North and South American bees.  All bee species must guard their honey.  In North America and Europe the chief threat to the bees’ honey stores is the famous, iconic honey bear.  But, in Africa, the honey-hungry hive invaders are really fierce animals including the large cats for which Africa is famous.

How did the poor African honeybee survive?  By becoming the meanest, toughest, and most lethal honeybee on earth.   Africanized honey bees can be quite nice -- as long as you don’t go near their honey!  If you do, you’ll find they have no sense of humor -- none.  They will sting first and ask questions later.  The African bee, by the way, is one of the best producers of honey of all the honeybee breeds.   

The Africanized bee is a genuine example of making the most of what you’ve got.  Contrary to popular legend, this bee is just a bit smaller than the common honeybee.  The Africanized bee has the same sting and venom as its European counterparts.  So, what makes it so deadly that it’s earned the name killer bee?  Only one thing.  It’s behavior.  The Africanized bee is more “defensive” than any other breed of honeybee. 
“Defensive” is the, sometimes, misleading word beekeepers use to describe aggressive behavior in bees.   

The Africanized honey bee will attack at the least provocation.  Getting close to their hive is enough.  These bees will follow you for as far as a third of a mile before giving up the chase.  They are fast.  And they are persistent.  In one instance, the victims dove into a pond to escape an Africanized swarm.  After holding their breath for about a minute, they raised the fronts of their faces just above the water’s surface.  Guess who was waiting for them . . . and . . . began aggressively stinging their exposed faces?

Again, there are no bees of the pure African breed found wild in the Western Hemisphere.  The African honey bee (A. m. scutellata) is actually a member of the same species as the typical honey bee you see outdoors, the “Italian bee” (A. m. ligustica).  But bees, like dogs, come in breeds.  And, as in dog breeds, the size, appearance and behavior of different bees of the same species can be radically different.    

Bees of the pure African breed first came the Western Hemisphere through South America.  In captivity, for a series of scientific experiments, an accident allowed about 26 African queen bees to escape.  Since that escape, in 1957, the African bees have mated and produced hybrids.  The speed with which the hybrids spread through the western hemisphere earned the Africanized honeybee the dubious distinction of being possibly the most successful invasive species on earth, appearing in the southern United States in 1985. 

So, Africanized bees have invaded.  But are they taking up stealthy positions in our water meters?  Are the ill-prepared meter readers, unknowingly, in the front lines?  Well, the situation may not be so simple.  After the reports of the Africanized honeybees in water meters surfaced, dozens of reports of common honeybees making nests in water meters surfaced as well.

Bee Master: Bees in Water Meter

City of LaVergne to save endangered bees from water meter

So, where did the idea that all water meter hives were Africanized come from?  Exterminators.  Exterminators have told, and continue to tell homeowners, that the hives in their water meters are surely Africanized.  This information is followed by a warning to the homeowner of possible personal liability if the Africanized bees attack someone on the property.  

Problem?  

Exterminators make money by removing bee infestations.  Professional exterminators are absolutely necessary for the removal of Africanized bees.  If another bee species is involved, removal is relatively easy and a local government agency or beekeeping organization will, often, do the work for nothing.

Why?

Well, honeybee populations are declining at an alarming rate in North America and Europe.  Preserving bee colonies is such a high priority that, in most places, cost free removal is available for any of the common breeds of honeybee.  Preservation of hives and bees is currently a high public priority.  Of course, if the bees are Africanized, the professional exterminator is perfectly appropriate.  Africanized bees are honestly and predictably dangerous.  

Advice?

Call a local beekeeping association or your local government (city or county) and explain the situation.  In many cases, they will arrange to come to your property and actually determine whether or not your water meter (or any) hive is Africanized.  If so, call the exterminator.  If not, arrangements can often be made to remove the bees without cost to you.      

Oh, and this is very important, don’t forget to call you water company and let them know that there is a potentially unpleasant situation awaiting the next meter reader. Then, explain what arrangements you are making to have the hive examined and removed.

But, still, the mystery remains.  What’s so great about water meters that bees want to build hives inside the meter boxes.  The answer may be much easier than we think. Water meter boxes may, accidentally, be designed to be the ideal hive.  

The key or thumb hold opening in the typical water meter box is the perfect size for a hive entrance.  The box, itself, is metal.  So, whether in the ground or high in the air, the hive is secure against honey robbers. The interior of the box is about an ideal size to contain honey and brood combs.  In other words, the water meter box is nearly a perfect, modern, and secure prefabricated home for the modern bee colony looking for a good location, easy access and safety.

About the Author

Scotland Yard’s Police Need Therapy From Honeybee Therapists?!

19 March 2015

A sudden news flash on the TV (or, rather, "the tele") or radio. There’s an armed standoff in London. You listen intently for more information. These kinds of breaking news stories aren’t welcome, but following the unfolding of events can be exciting -- from a distance.

But, if you are member of Scotland Yard’s Metropolitan Police Elite CO19 Firearms Unit, you’re likely to find yourself  “in the thick of it” soon enough. Every week, you spend hours dealing with potentially explosive situations in which you expose yourself to continuous personal danger.

Few can measure up to the training and, then, the crisis to crisis demands of the job. Sadly, fewer can keep-up under the grueling weight of the stress. But, what if there were a way to “de-stress” these brave and highly skilled professionals so they could serve, not just distinguished, but long careers -- in spite of the constant exposure to just as constant danger?

A DE-STRESSING SECRET?

Some, like one armed officer, “John,” deal with the stress easily. “John” has had a long career and coped well with the psychological demands of the job. What is “John’s” secret? Did he come from a long line of high performance police officers and, through a combination of genetics and family environment come to be ideally suited to the demands of his job? Or did “John” know a secret – a secret about managing stress.

In fact, “John” has not a single police officer in this family. The only gun his grandfather, father and uncles carried was a smoke gun. A smoke gun? Yes, a beekeeper’s smoke gun. “John” knew a secret alright. Beekeeping! Beekeeping has an almost magical de-stressing effect.

No one would have ever thought of it. After all, what’s the suicide rate among beekeepers? I don’t know. I’ve never heard of a beekeeper committing suicide! And, you know what? There’s no shortage of professional beekeepers, but there is a persistent fear that a shortage will develop in the future.

Why?

Because beekeepers are, on average, so old. The current median age of a beekeeper is well above 50 years! Could it be that the real problem isn’t attracting "new" blood to beekeeping? The reason for the high percentage of "mature" beekeepers isn't a "problem" at all!   The only "problem" is the rejuvenating effect of beekeeping? Could it be that beekeepers never feel the need to retire?  Could it be that beekeepers are unusually long-lived?

“John” knew the beekeepers' secret. He knew that beekeeping by CO19’s Armed Unit Officers would give them a new lease on their professional lives. But how do you convince the hard-edged skeptics of the modern world. Would anyone believe in the reality of this ancient and mysterious professional elixir?

“John” knew he had to try. And, I’m guessing it went something like this.

First, “John” made an appointment with the Metropolitan Mayer to propose the idea. But would the mayor listen to this -- only too simple -- solution to a serious problem?

“John” was confronted with a cordial greeting, but a serious look from London’s Metropolitan Mayor, Boris Johnson. “Good to see you, John.” “I don’t doubt your good intentions, but I’ve heard it all.” “I don’t know what kind of pop-psychological solution you are going to propose, primal screaming, natural foods, . . . whatever, but let’s get on with it.”

But, even before “John” could reply, the Mayor suddenly looked preoccupied. Gazing out the window at the city, the Mayor quietly revealed his thoughts. “We’re trying to deal with another emergency right now.” “Honeybee populations are declining throughout the UK.” “I have to find a way to encourage more Londoners to keep honeybees.” (long pause) “But, anyway, John, what’s your proposal?”

“John” had struck upon the magic moment of opportunity.

The Mayor’s Capital Bee ­programme would receive support from a new club formed by members of the CO19 Armed Unit. “John” persuaded his bosses to grant £525 for the purchase of two hives and protective suits for the new Met Police Beekeeping Association.

The meeting between members of the CO19 Armed Unit and their therapeutic honeybees was done in a way that would feel most natural to both groups. The CO19 officers, wearing protective clothing and gloves, gathered near the hives. They were briefed on their objectives and the risks before confronting the bees. The officers handled the situation with their typical skill -- to date, no stings have been reported.

The honeybees --these small creatures -- quietly buzz with a style of flight that makes them, sometimes, seem to almost float in the warm summer air. Of course, bees can’t speak. Instead, they dance or move in certain patterns to communicate. Bees of the honeybee species, Apis mellifera, are thought to be the most natural therapists of all insects. But every rule has an exception. So, all of the A. mellifera family are natural therapists -- except the cousins from Africa, the infamous Africanized honeybees.

CROSS-TRAINING?

The opportunity for cross-training has not escaped notice. While the Scotland Yard’s CO19 officers are looking to learn to relax a bit more on their down time, honeybees have started anti-terrorist training learning to sniff out explosive chemicals. This elite bee unit, the “Bomb-lebees,” work in a hand-held detector and stick out their tongues when they smell explosive chemicals.

CONCLUSION

You can almost picture a CO19 Officer relaxing in his backyard on a weekend afternoon. His hive’s bees gently float in the air throughout the area. A lone bee approaches -- gently hovering. Quietly, the officer recounts the story of a tense professional standoff with a nervous, though potentially contrite, suspect. The officer explains how tensions built as the minutes ticked by . . . .

Gently and quietly the listening bee dances a message to the off-duty officer, “But how did that make you feel?” In another backyard, nearby, a lone bee hovers patiently by another off-duty officer while quietly dancing the message, “I think it’s time for us to talk about your relationship with your mother.” The officer swallows with a look of guarded relief as he begins to recount a childhood experience.

About the Author

French Honeybees: Persecuted Artists or “The French Connection”?

5 March 2015

[humor]

            The situation seems only too typical.  Honeybees in Northeastern France, moved by a sudden wave of creative inspiration, began work on one of the most ambitious artistic projects in history – or, at least, in honeybee history.

THE DISGUISED OPPORTUNITY

            One day, a foraging honeybee smelled sugar.  And bees, well, they can’t resist anything sweet.  Pursuing the smell to its source, the curious seeker was suddenly bedazzled by an unexpected sight.  The source of the sugar smell was in a rainbow of colors.    

            The place was Ribeauville, France, a couple of miles away from the hive.  There, a bio-gas plant was “processing” M&M Candy shells in all of their multicolored glory.  The bee must have been stunned.  Then, regaining her composure, she began gathering the multicolored sugar.  When she returned to the nest, she added her share to the sweets gathered by the hive's bees that day. 

            The bees did their own “processing.”  And, when the sweets had been turned into honey, these bees got a surprise.  A few of their sister bees had made contributions that seemed to be blue.  When added to the already amber-yellow honey stores, this produced green honey. 

BATTLE FOR ACCEPTANCE

            One can only imagine what happened next.  Certainly, the colony’s sense of propriety was shocked -- at first.  Surprised and suspicious of this unexpected change, many bees were comfortable enough with the traditional brown tones of honey.   A bright green?   Well, that bordered on scandal! 

            But, as the days past, the rumblings probably stopped.  Many of the colony’s workers enjoyed the new color.  Bees are highly organized in their dealings with the world, and variety and diversity, are not so very common virtues in the traditional society of the honeybee. 

            But variety is the spice of life.  Soon the bees were buzzing with interest and excitement over the new color.  Some may have held out.  But, then, when the hive's queen visited and pronounced the new green color delightful, it became the “this season’s rage” in Northern France. 

MORE COLORS

            But the hive was in for another surprise.  The new green color was a combination of the yellow of natural honey with the blue of the new colored honey.  As the colored honey increased, the green gave way to a true blue matching the shade of the M&M shells that provided the pigment.

            This hive of bees was on its way to a rainbow of honey colors: yellow, green and, now, blue! The bees probably felt that their colony was in the forefront a new honeybee artistic movement.  Maybe this was the dawning of a new artistic age of bee culture: a honeybee renaissance.

UNFAVORABLE ATTENTION

            Little could these poor honeybee artists have realized that they were being watched by unseen eyes.  Jealous eyes.  Human culture welcomes and evolves with variety and change – at least -- as long as humans are the authors of the innovations.

           Undoubtedly, in the early spring of that year, some food producer, somewhere, was adding an approved dye to honey to change its color from amber to green.  Why?  Saint Patrick’s Day celebrations.  What could be more expected in the season of green beer, bread, and green just about everything else?

            When human beings do it, its fine.  But when honeybees threaten to steal the creative spotlight from human artists, the game changes.  France has official “Standards of Honey Production.”  The honey of our artistic bees “deviated from the standard color of honey.”  The blue honey of the Ribeauville bees was banned.

            If a human processor wants to add green or blue color to the honey, later, . . . no problem.  To that human processor goes the credit for the innovation and the profits from the sales.  Apparently, honeybees are not allowed to create different colored honeys themselves.  If the bees try to do it, naturally, they will be stopped! 

            Of course, this hurt not only the creative bees, but the beekeepers.  Undoubtedly the beekeepers pleaded the case of their artistic bees.  Why can’t the bees color the honey themselves? Surely, this unwelcome, second appeal caused some irritation.  So, an almost forgotten regulation was retrieved from the bottom of the closet, dusted off, and used to silence the artistic bees once and for all.

            That regulation states that honey is only honey if it is entirely obtained from the nectar of plants.  No matter that processors could add dyes to the honey later.   No matter that the processors' dyes weren't from "the nectar of plants"!  The regulation was cleverly written to assure that bees can add nothing to honey.

          So, the honeybees were not allowed any original contribution.  Their job was to gather nectar and make amber-yellow honey.  Then, after all the work was done by the honeybees, it’s the job of human processors to add colors and gain the profits and credit for these innovations. 

BEE DEPOPULATION OR A “BEAT GENERATION” OF HONEYBEES?

            With this kind of repressive environment, you have to wonder what’s really going on with decreasing honeybee populations these days.  The cause, CCD (Colony Collapse Disorder), is not defined in terms of the confirmed bee deaths.  Rather, bees leave the hive and never return.  Everyone assumes that these absent bees have died.   But, again, you have wonder.  Maybe the bees are just tired of the drudgery. 

            Maybe, somewhere, in a clearing in the midst of some forest or on a plateau lost in some remote mountain range, swarms of disaffected bees have gathered after they just “dropped out” of mainstream honeybee culture.  Retiring to these concealed sanctuaries, these bees have formed their own artistic and intellectual communities unfettered by the conventional roles forced on them by human society and the mores of traditional beekeeping culture.

            Wherever that lost world may be, just imagine.  A land full of honey in a rainbow of colors.  A land where honeycombs are built in just about anything and given a variety of novel shapes.  Bee colonies (or communes) experiment with new honeycomb arrangements hoping to discover a new feng shui of hive design.  Bumblebees roam free over ranges of natural grasses – ranges never despoiled by lawn mowers, industrial agriculture or, worst of all, the evils of outdoor landscaping!

            At any rate, the artistic bees of Ribeauville may soon attract more unwelcome attention from government authorities.  More questions will be asked about the source of these bees’ artistic inspiration.   Sinister questions.  It all starts with the color blue or, rather, blue honey.

            Once upon a time, there was another kind of “blue honey.”  It was called psychedelic honey.  And the question may be asked, “Are the artistic bees of Northern France just artists or are they psychedelic bees?"  But here, "psychedelic" doesn’t refer to a type of art.  The term has a darker meaning.

BACK TO THE 60’S 

            There’s another way to make honey turn blue.  It involves a mushroom.  A particular kind of mushroom.  With a little aging, psilocybin mushrooms ground up and mixed with raw honey will turn the color of the honey to blue.  Not only does the blue color escape into the honey, so does the psilocybin.  What is psilocybin?  One of the more potent, natural hallucinogenic drugs popularized in the 1960’s.  As late as 1996, jars of blue psilocybin honey were confiscated at the border between Holland and Germany. 

            Could the Ribeauville bees have been involved in the drug trade!?  I doubt it.  Their hives, honeycombs, and ability produce honey of any color would have been affected by rampant drug use.  I don’t believe that these honeybee artists started their renaissance under the influence of hallucinogenic drugs.  The accusation is just one more attempt to stifle honeybee creativity.  

            I would like to see these poor bees allowed the freedom of artistic creativity they deserve.  A rainbow of honey colors is absolutely delightful -- particularly in a culinary world in which decorative colors are added to many, if not most, foods.  At the same time, I hope these bees keep a good perspective on the reach of their creative vision.  I have to admit that I have a more traditional side.  At least, I prefer my bees in yellow and black. 

About the Author

See also:

The Blue and Green Honey
Blue Honey and Mushrooms

Reference to:

"The French Connection"
Beatnik
feng shui

Hungry Honeybees or Stool-Pigeons?

5 March 2015

[Humor]

            Didn't life used to be simpler?  And, when life was simpler, so was crime.  In the old days, if you were a criminal transporting illegal contraband -- a controlled substance, like marijuana -- you could just put it in a container and write “not marijuana” on the outside. 

            Sounds too simple, doesn’t it?  But I have to admit, I’ve never heard of anyone getting caught with a controlled substance in a container labeled to assure the searcher that it wasn’t contraband.

            But that simple world came to an end, last weekend, in Lincoln, Nebraska, when police searchers ignored the words, “Not Weed,” written on the outside of a plastic sour creme container and opened it.  What did they find inside?  Weed – also known as – marijuana. 

            Who could have suspected this bold move on the part of investigators?

See: Nebraska police find pot inside container labeled 'Not Weed'

            Since the unraveling of the organized crime families in the late 20th century, wall after wall of protection for criminal activities has collapsed.  Organized crime was based on loyalty.  But as celebrity beckoned, insiders were willing to sell their stories to Hollywood and enjoy their 15 of fame.  But many believe that the biggest issue was drugs.  Organized criminals couldn’t resist their own products, narcotics.  And with drug-use, everything unravels. 

            But some loyalties remained.  Bronx neighborhoods are still close-knit communities in New York City.   There, you can trust your neighbors to look out of you.  And, then, there were the bees.  You could always expect your neighborhood honeybees to “watch your back.” 

            At least, that’s the way it used to be.  Maybe all the new bees flooding into the city in the last few years have made that sense of neighborhood disappear.  Or maybe, what drugs were to the old crime families, high-fructose corn syrup has become to honeybees.

            Not so very long ago, bees from bee yards (apiaries) in the Red Hook section of the Bronx began to turn . . . red.

            The bees didn’t become completely red -- just their stomachs, which seemed to always be filled with a red liquid instead of nectar and pollen.  But where would bees find something so red that was so sweet?

            Well, Red Hook is, also, the home of Dell’s Maraschino Cherries factory.  What are maraschino cherries?  They are those bright-red sweet cherries used to top-off ice cream confections and decorate mixed drinks.  Again, they are bright-red and sweet with sugar.  Is this where the bees were getting their stomachs filled with a bright red meal?

            To the factory’s beekeeping neighbors, this seemed like a joke.  It was the factory’s owner who contacted the city to ask about problems with honeybees.  More and more bees were invading the factory.  The owner was worried that a bee might get into the cherries.

            About this same time, local beekeepers were having the "red gunk" eaten by their red bees analyzed.  And what did they find?  Red Dye #40 – the same color additive used in the manufacture of maraschino cherries. 

            The factory owner allowed New York City Beekeepers Association (NYCBA) founder, Andrew Cote, unrestricted access to the factory.  With a thorough investigation it was determined that the bees were slurping-up cherry syrup from cherry vats as these moved outside onto the sidewalk before being promptly moved back into the factory facility.  The solution was simple: cover the vats.  Problem solved.

            Or, at least, one problem was solved.

            During the investigation, the New York Times published a piece called “The Mystery of the Red Bees of Red Hook.”  And this dredged up another mystery from the past.  Six years earlier, an informant had told a postal inspector that there was a giant marijuana farm operating in the basement of the cherry-making factory. 

            Problem: this was “hearsay” and wouldn’t support a search warrant.

            Six years earlier, the factory had been carefully watched, but no drug traffic hauling marijuana out of the factory could be found.  The building plans had been consulted, but the plans included no basement.  The owner had been followed, but did nothing incriminating.  Still, the case file remained open because drug sniffing dogs had reacted outside the factory, but that wasn’t enough to justify a warrant and a search.

            Now, 6 years later, after the story of the red bees broke, the District Attorney asked the Department of Environmental Conservation (DEC) to investigate the possibility of illegal or unsanitary disposal of “runoff” from the manufacturing process.  The strange case of the red bees had opened an opportunity, an excuse, for a search warrant.

            The DEC searchers found nothing. 

            With the next election, there was a new District Attorney anxious to clear away old cases.  Using the runoff, again, as an excuse, the DEC made a final search focusing on a garage attached to the cherry factory.  Behind a false wall, they found a stairway to a basement -- a basement that wasn’t supposed to be there. 

            Down the stairway was the biggest marijuana farm every found in New York City: 2,500 square feet of farm with 120 grow lamps and a complex irrigation system.  The farm was a multimillionaire dollar operation likely producing 3 to 5 harvests a year. 

            Without the red bees, the farm would have never been discovered.  Why couldn’t the bees “lay off” the syrup for sake of their neighbor’s operation?  Ok . . . ok!  The law is the law.  And a marijuana farm in New York City is illegal. 

             But there’s still the question of neighborhood loyalty.  The bees and the factory were neighbors. They were neighbors!  In the Bronx! 

           And . . . and . . . and . . .  

            What are we saying?  These are honeybees.  Asking a honeybee to stay away from sweet sugary syrup is like asking an ant to stay away from a picnic or asking a dog not to bury a bone.  The bees can’t help themselves.

            Conclusion: you can still trust your local honeybees to keep some of your secrets.   But not when a sugar-sweet meal is at stake.  They just can’t resist! 

See: How Bees Revealed a Pot Farm Beneath the Maraschino Cherries

About the Author